"Hey, did you hear the Amazon is burning down?"
"Oh, Amazon? Fuck that corporate capitalistic company!" "No....the Amazon. Like the rainforest?" "well…that's sad" "yeah..."
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Listen, I get it. You don’t care and I should be watching my man.
Blah blah blah, but... Can you just not fuck my man? Maybe the next time you head into work and see my man you just wait to put on your Fashionova jumpsuit til after work? or Maybe just respect it when he says he's not interested? I know you’re thinking “well, it’s not my fault he wants this?” And you’re right. but damn can you just chill? Maybe send snap-chats without the subliminal messages and kissy emojis? or hold off on the instagram live feed til the morning? or make a rule of thirst traps only on THIRST-DAYS (a play on Thursday) All I'm saying is life would be a lot easier if you weren't as messy as: -A 4 year olds bedroom -Eating spaghetti with no utensils -The backseat and trunk of your car -Congress -Mariah Carey's 2017 NYE performance -That one wig Beyonce had with bangs And yes, I am single and luckily don't have to deal with this shit, but I figured at least one side chick would read this and hesitate .4 seconds before sliding into that DM. #doingmypart Ladies, remember "Birds don't fly with Eagles." A couple days before we countdown the new year and on the brink of my 30th birthday, I am deciding to actively rid myself of all the fuck shit from 2018.
This year will always be special to me because it taught me so many lessons. 1. I AM lactose intolerant. 2. Some people will never recognize your worth; and that's okay. 3. Don't let people steal your energy; even if the dick is bomb. 4. Continue to support and uplift the people around you 5. Don't take the bullshit personally ...and for 2019, keep moving forward. Always, keep moving forward. *"Hey Nik, say it for the people in the back!"* KEEP. MOVING. FORWARD. Stay focused and mentally sound. Be selfish and listen to yourself. oh! and drink more water. News flash!
Your recommendations on how I should look are irrelevant. If you decide to grace me with the wisdom and advice on how to be “hotter”, I'm going to do the the exact opposite... “You would look so much hotter if you lost a couple of pounds.” throw another scoop on that cone motherfucker!!! “You would look hotter if you wore a little make up” I will use a sharpie as lip and eye liner “You would look hotter if you showed off that figure more” XL it is! I have to hand it to you. You really have no clue. What you fail to realize is that the same woman you are speaking with has already acknowledged that booger creeping in the corner of your nose that has been there for the last 30 minutes, the fact that your nails are bit so low due to nervousness and anxiety, and the blaring insecurities you have about yourself and lack of experience with women. So, yeah. I would look hotter with make up, but you'd also be hotter with a sense of self. And ladies and gentleman, that is what I'd like to call a read. |
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